By: Tracey L. Roberts
Changing Our Narrative
God’s gift to be a mother is truly a treasure. There is power in being a mother. Mothers have the ability to mold, build, and shape lives like no other. Mothers make presidents. Look at our last two presidents and their relationships with their mothers. The vast difference in their leadership probably stems from how they were mothered. The phrase “Momma’s baby, Daddy’s maybe” is so poignant, depending on how you use it. We are always Momma’s baby. Mothers are our everything the instant we are born. Mothers provide us food, love, affection, and protection the moment we come through her. Most mothers get this right and others struggle to find the necessary balance of the mothering attributes. No mother is to blame because of shortcomings in some areas; it’s an enormous undertaking to raise children. I raised two that didn’t come through me but my influence on them, mothering them, has a major influence on who they are growing to be as adults. It’s powerful.
Mothers are the first cheerleaders. They instill confidence from the moment a child begins to talk, walk, or simply try anything. Moms are there saying, “You can do it!” Not all moms have the gift of cheer-leading because they were not nurtured in such a way themselves, yet the heart longs for the mothering spirit. Those children are even more covered by God’s love and are blessed to have a “like a mother figure” or aunt, auntie or older cousin to pick up the slack and be there for them in ways their mothers can’t, know how, or are afraid. A child will always want their mother. You never forget your first loving embrace.
Many of us have said, “I’m not going to be like my mother when I grow up and have children.” Culturally, mothers are different. Being raised by an African American mother who was born and raised in the ’40s and ’50s, whose mother was a descendant of slaves, had a different effect on a child’s upbringing in comparison to other races. The world was different and yet is still the same in that being African American comes with a burden to bear. No other mother has to teach a child the protocols of interacting with the police or how to act in grocery stores, how to look a person in the eye to demand respect, stand up for themselves, and the list goes on and on. There is coldness in those discussions; the feeling of “less than” strikes at the core of black children in this world. In these moments mothering becomes so much more necessary. It is not the child’s fault that people in this world are broken, empty, spiritless, and chained to past ideologies. We can’t mother too much in these difficult discussions otherwise the necessary fear required to survive in the streets, in this world, won’t take root. Therefore, mothers retreat their love so their child has a chance to thrive. The balance of love and life poses a challenge. Thus, in the child’s mind, they desire to be a different type of parent when they have children, not fully understanding their mother’s fate. Their life over love is at stake.
As children mature into adults, they must reconcile their thoughts and feelings and forgive mothers for their methods of child rearing. Mothers are people too and had life experiences that shaped who they were before their children were thought of. Some had it easy, others had it difficult, and if you are fortunate to have a life on this earth, thank your mother for your birth. She gave you an opportunity to be somebody, to be great. Learn from her experiences and mother a little differently, strive for the balance of nurture, discipline, love, and happiness.
For those mothers who do a remarkable job of parenting their children, share your knowledge, especially to new mothers. Mothers are raising amazing children who thrive in all areas of their lives, from school to athletics, socially, creatively, and spiritually. Children who are kind and loving grow into adulthood being phenomenal, achieving all that they set out to be due to their mother’s balance of mothering attributes. The secret of mothering success should be shared and celebrated, not only in May, but every day. Mothers, you are so appreciated.
Tracey L. Roberts hails from Louisville, KY. Tracey has worked in Environmental, Health & Safety for twenty years. She’s always been a writer and she’s embracing her pen power. Tracey is a writer and national editor for ReelUrbanNews.com. Tracey resides in Altadena, CA.
