Father’s Day Exclusive 2018
By: Robert Jones, Contributor
Being a father in general is quite a unique experience. Being the source of provision and protection, as well as being an example for proper living are daunting tasks indeed, however as a father to daughters somehow the fulfillment of these roles seems accentuated and their need more drastic. As a male, especially in the younger years, it is easy to be unaware of the particular struggle women can have in society. Caring for the women in our life can develop this consciousness of certain difficulties particular to the female experience. For me, the development of my recognition and realization of female plight totally materialized in the birth of my daughters Anastasia and Sophia-Dei.
When I think of their growth and the fact that one day they will face all that life has to offer both positive and negative, I ask myself, what can I do so that they face challenges, be it fair or unfair, with courage and grace? I realize that their maturation into women who embrace their femininity, even when society doesn’t, depends heavily on how I embrace and celebrate them as girls and ultimately as women. I see that their becoming better women demand that I be a better man, husband and father. I must become all that I want them to become. I must value all that I want them to hold as valuable. C.S. Lewis solidifies this principle in my mind when he writes “None can give to another what he does not possess himself. No generation can bequeath to its successor what it has not got…if we are skeptical we shall teach only skepticism to our pupils, if fools only folly, If vulgar only vulgarity, if saints sanctity, if heroes heroism…Nothing which was not in the teachers can flow from them into the pupils.
Another point upon which I find distinction when raising daughters is the reality that I will not always be around them and that one day my role in their life will fundamentally change. One of the most impacting lines from the popular movie Black Panther is where T’chakka says to T’challa, “A man that has not prepared his own children for his death has failed as a father.” These words, although addressed from a father to his son, take on a double meaning when I think of myself as a father raising my two daughters. The idea is that not only must I prepare them for the day that I am no longer with them in life but I, and I admit this with some sorrow, must also prepare them for the moment when I am no longer the prominent male figure in their life. One day they will outgrow my protection but they will still need protection. One day they will transcend the need for my providence but they will need providence. One day the will no longer be able to pray with me each night but they will need prayer. Although I expect them to one day be well developed in a manner where they can take up these roles for themselves, I also carry the burden of teaching them to recognize these qualities and abilities in the person of their choosing.
This idea reminds me every day to strive to develop myself in a way that where these qualities shine casting a long shadow that is ever present in their minds and positively impacts their life choices. I press to be an example of a man who wants to make their life easy but recognizes the virtues born through struggle. The idea of me no longer being with them one day reminds me that I not only have daughters for today but I am raising women for tomorrow, women that will influence their families, their communities and ultimately the world.
Robert Jones is originally from Compton, CA. He works as an Electrical Engineer for a defense contracting company. He has a Master of Arts degree in Christian Apologetics from Luther Rice College and Seminary and serves as Young Adult Pastor at Rising Star MBC in Tucson, AZ. He can be contacted and more of his writings can be found at his blog Knowledge and Proclamation.
