By Dave Devereaux
Father’s Day Reflection 2020
The past two weeks have been tumultuous with protests surrounding the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis. We have seen multiple cities respond in kind by making it known that they will no longer accept the status quo and are demonstrating in support of Black Lives Matter.
While all this is swirling around, it brought me to the fact that George Floyd was a father first. His children will have to endure this Father’s Day without his physical presence. And I kept coming back to the need to honor and thank my own father for preparing me for life. Yet saddened by how many young black men may never have had a father to discuss life lessons with them.
My dad had “The Talk” with me and my brothers in our early teens. I don’t recall him making a big deal out of it, but I do recall how serious he was. I remember him being specific about what you should do when confronted by police, especially in Texas where it was known that police could be rough with minorities. Having three sons would have been a tremendous burden wondering every time your kids leave the house would they be alright, let alone return home safely. This would be especially difficult during the teenage years.
My dad was always even tempered, I cannot recall any instance where yelling or even cursing was ever displayed in our household. With three boys, I think we were all the noise he could stomach. I was never scared to approach him about anything, because I knew he would be open to listen and then render his verdict. I will admit, I didn’t always like the response, but I respected it and moved on. He was kind, yet would not allow you to take advantage of him or his family. He always found time to make us laugh. My mom used to refer to him as a big kid, and maybe all males maintain that childlike quality throughout life. My dad most certainly did.
At his funeral in May, 2018 I found out the morning of the service that I was slated to speak on behalf of my brothers. Having been a Principal at a middle school, I was used to thinking on the fly, but this was different. I had to try to hold it together emotionally and talk about someone that I held in hero status all my life. And that’s when it hit me. I had my focus…”Hero”.
Why was he a hero; because he taught me how to respect people for who they are, not what they have or how they look. He taught me how to see the positive in the most dire situations and yet find that something that lends itself to a teachable moment.. My dad taught me to honor my elders and appreciate the wisdom they possess in order to move forward without making too many mistakes, He taught me how to stay out of trouble and mind my own business, yet make myself available when others really need me. He taught me to always respect and honor women. He taught me that all guys need a good friend that thinks like them and can laugh at the same silly things you do because that adds to brotherhood beyond your siblings. He taught me to look beyond the moment and offer solutions when problems arise so that you come with something rather than complain about nothing. He would remind me that things don’t always go your way, but to keep persevering because quitting or giving up are not options, there is too much riding on your success. You and you alone control your destiny he would say.
To chronologue all that he did for me in this life would take a book. From the small lessons to the big ones, he was always there and was always my hero. I would not be the man that I am today had it not been for my dad. He was extraordinary in the world of men and to me much bigger than life.
I mourned greatly upon his passing, but I also celebrate a life that was filled with great accomplishments. He married his high school sweetheart, my mother. Completed three tours of duty in VietNam in the United States Army. He was awarded the Bronze Star Medal for heroic service, while defending this country and he returned home safely to a loving family despite a United States that did not respect that war or its participants. He never allowed that to be a reason for him to be caught in the swell of anger that many veterans endured, instead, he volunteered to make it better for them. He was about action. As part of his last wishes he wanted people to donate to two causes on his behalf, Doctors Without Borders and Save the Children foundation. He remains an incredible role model for me, Tommy and Chris, my brothers who by their own rights are incredible fathers too.
There are many great fathers out there, mine happened to be one of them and I am honored every day to have his name and carry on his legacy of serving. His actions have made me naturally become a mentor to young black educators interested in furthering their careers in a system that often does not appreciate the wealth of talent they possess. I will forever be grateful that I am his son. I strive to always make him proud and represent our namesake.
Happy Heavenly Father’s Day Dad. Rest in Honor.
In honor of my Dad Abraham Devereaux Jr. March 26, 1938 – May 18, 2018
